Wikipedia Alternative take on Malaysia- www.uncyclopedia.org
Comic relief for the gloom and doom in Malaysia now… A must read. Sample below on Malaysian culture.
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Culture_of_Malaysia
Ah Long culture - fix for gamblers who lost all his money. Ask along, and along will give to maximum loan than you & 7 other generation can afford. If failed to pay, your house will be decorated with Huge X mark with a handful of flashing bloody red paint to scare satan away. Therefore satan will not take money from owners house ever again. The most famous Ah Long in Malaysia is Ah Long from Bukit Beruntung.
[edit] Landfill Culture
Landfill Culture, photo at Non-Big-Peoples’ district in Malaysia.
Landfill Culture, photo at Non-Big-Peoples’ district in Malaysia.
Landfill Culture is widely practiced by Malaysian regardless of race. Only certain districts in this country are clean: KLCC, Putrajaya (the Parliment House), Kiara heights and Bangsar & Damansara heights (Big-Wigs’ districts). The rest of Malaysia is full of rubbish and pollutions. In Malaysia, it is compulsory to throw rubbish at roadside or throw into drains. If not, you will be punished in the form of a public stoning (rather severe punishment, really) and ‘Dilarang Membuang Sampah’ means ‘You’re welcome to chuck your rubbish here anyhow you like’.
[edit] Home Designer Culture
In Malaysia, the home designere culture is based on the concept of “face” and its loss. For example, a neighbour builds a new Greco-Roman balcony. The person in question responds by hiring a group of Indonesian workers to build an equally-imposing structure in their own back yards. Two huge, symmetric columns with gold, blue, light blue, light pink, light orange etc. paint, a hugh “curly-curly” automatic gate, a Japanese pond with gargantuan man-made waterfalls, a Disneyland-themed rooftop, a Louvre-style window and numerous alarms to stop the ubiquitous miscreant from vandalising the place.
Invariably, after a short while, the neighbour realises his loss of face resulting from his now-inferior back yard. He then extends and expands his Greco-Roman balcony in turn with the construction of TWO ponds, TWO waterfalls, extremely-curled golden gates and so on and so forth. While the extensive renovations are taking place, they make it a point to boast about their childrens’ school results, which may or may not be total fabrications, just for good measure.
Of course, there is a tacit understanding that approval is not needed for these renovations. While it may cost RM5000-RM10000 (bribes included) to extend the back yard, kitchen etc., an approval (or lack thereof) can be resolved with a few hundred ringgit if the local officer comes knocking.
[edit] Zakarian Culture
Zakarian Culture is the latest trendy outlaw version of the Home Designer Culture introduced and invented by ‘big peoples’. This culture is no small issue, now sultan is involved and Pak Lah as well and then there was a top minister claimed that the culture involved too many temples and factories so and so that it was too big to handle. So the best way to actually get out of deep shit is to cry on television. That way people will start saying “Awwww poor thing, let him go already”. It probably worked as all he got was a slap on the wrist and nothing more.
[edit] Blog culture invasion
Recently, blogs have been popping out left, right and center, and exposing the idiocy, corruption and incompetence of the government. Good examples of these independent news outlets are Malaysia Today and Malaysia Kini. In response, the government is now trying to censor the bloggers but fail because they are too stupid to realize that the internet is without borders and they have no jurisdiction over content stored on web servers overseas. So if you want to blog, make sure you use an international server.
[edit] Skinhead Culture
Yes, you heard me correctly. Malaysians are some of the most confused people in the world. These are kids no more than 18yrs old dressing up like they belong in the SS. They shave their heads, wear those stormtrooper boots and have swastikas tattooed on them… sounds like your average white supremacist right? yeah right… except that these kids are MALAYS. The most important component in being a skinhead is being WHITE, but the concept seem to be lost in translation. These kids they burn the Qu’ran and during Merdeka they run around KL (a few hundred of them) robbing, looting, stealing, raping, beating, sucking, fucking up the city… so much for independence. What could cause such phenomenon? Answer: Idiotic mindset among malays that can’t see foreign culture. Semua mau ikut!
[edit] White People-ism
Malays, Chinese, and Indians may have different religions but they all share the common worship of White People-ism. If you’re white and nerdy come to Malaysia. Your popularity level will increase up to 99.9% HEY thats cooler than when you were in Australia or U.K. or Canada. Go to a club and you are accepted with open arms. No I.D. required and you can basically pick up any common girls NO PROBLEM. So if you’re white, a loser in your own countries, and looks like you might have giantism, then Malaysia is the place for you! Visit Malaysia 2007 and you’re no longer a loser 24/7!
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